Remembering

As part of the planning process for this non-profit, I thought it'd be a good idea to connect with other bloggers who are dealing with the loss of a loved one. I find the most compelling are those that are fresh off of the loss and are blogging to demonstrate release. The two most heart breaking are of those who have lost their spouse. The links are listed under favorites on this page.

Here's my perspective. I've felt and seen this too. I've seen it happen to my mother, twice. She's a very private person and probably won't ever blog, although she's talked about writing a book for a long time now, but she can now talk about her loss. My dad's been gone for 22 years and Wes has been gone for 6. (Wes is another chapter in our lives.) I never understood her side of it, until I got married and found that kind of love. But let's not demean the loss of my father either, mine is from a different perspective. It's the most life-altering occurrence that's ever happened to me.

My loss was horrific. I was only 8 when daddy died, but I remember the day vividly. I can tell you who was there and how I felt -- like it was today. I saw him in the casket in the church after the funeral was over, we walked up to it, I saw him and then walked out. To this day, I do not view bodies in caskets and do not join the procession during a funeral for the viewing. I see him each and every time I see a casket. I still feel the deep pain when I was told he died. I feel it every time I hear of a child loosing a parent or someone who looses someone they love. My entire family is reminded of it at every holiday, birthday and event. It's numbed as I've grown older, but reading all of these blogs about people dealing with death, the pain comes back. But this reaffirms why this organization is so important and the mission stands.

There has always been one constant friend in my life, who has been beside me since I was born. Can (the nickname I gave her in high school) is one of the people who accepts all of my faults. She's my first cousin, her mother is my father's sister. We are only 3 months a part. Goodness knows if she weren't as heaven-sent as she is, she wouldn't speak to me today, because I was so stinking mean to her growing up. All of my anger and spite from loosing dad, unfortunately some of it was taken out on her.

She's become a big part of this new organization. She's participating in every step and has generated some great ideas. Thank you Can for being a constant in my life.

Now for some hopeful news! We've got great ideas in the works. Let's pray God leads us to make them happen.

Here's what we're working on so far:
Free bereavement counseling
Social Security benefits and education
Fundraising
Hospice, funeral homes and hospital connections

The Mission Statement:
The Mike Starling Foundation was founded to help young families who have lost a parent or child unexpectedly to death. Our goal is to alleviate the immediate financial burdens encountered when such tragedy strikes and to help with the emotional loss by providing counseling, if the family would like it.